How to prepare for parenthood as a person with a disability
The wonders of parenting cannot be underestimated. Just ask any mother or father who’s heard their child’s first words or watched them take their first steps. It brings an immense feeling of joy and pride, and that’s part and parcel of fulfilling the most important role a human being could ever be given. This is going to be the best time of your life.
But also the most trying.
You’ll be woken up in the middle of the night to soothe a crying baby, then devote the rest of your time to feeding, clothing and cleaning up after them when all you really want is a nap or some time to focus on yourself. If you’re physically disabled, there will be extra challenges added to the whole experience. You can get through this, though, and become the best mommy or daddy around, but only if you’re prepared.
Do Your Research
Knowing what lies ahead is part of sailing through intact. Having a disability like a mobility or visual impairment means you know the challenges ahead may be somewhat different, especially when it comes to changing diapers or chasing the little one around the house with. Anticipate those difficulties now and figure out how to deal with them. Don’t get tripped up like many other new parents.
Look for Adaptable Options & Equipment
It’s a matter of safety and efficiency. Every minute of the day counts, so you don’t want to struggle just getting in the house with a child in tow as well as a bag of groceries. Whether it’s a more accessible stroller, car seat, comfortable and easy-to-use nursing tops, or even opting for a baby sling, look for options that help you help your baby. Having the right gear and furniture will make your life as a parent much easier, and there are plenty of products specifically designed for parents with disabilities. Before buying anything, though, be sure to read reviews carefully so you’re not just wasting hard-earned cash on a gimmick that doesn’t do any good.
Of course, adaptability and accessibility are linked to your home as well. For example, if necessary, you may need to add a no-step shower to your bathroom or a wheelchair ramp to your porch. If you live in an apartment, however, making adjustments to suit your lifestyle may be out of the question. Thankfully, there are many accessible apartments available; use online listings to help you locate a place that works well with your disability.
Plan for the Future
While raising a child, you may encounter a problem that only money will solve. An emergency fund would make that easier, so take a close look at your monthly income and set some of that aside into a savings account to pay for the unexpected such as car repairs or, even worse, a job loss.
And it’s not easy to think about when welcoming a new life in the world, but you and your partner could pass away, leaving your child with an uncertain future. Hedge that risk by purchasing a life insurance policy so their financial welfare is guaranteed. You’ll also need to write up your will and have a serious talk with close family about guardianship options in the event you die before your child reaches the age of 18.
Develop a Support Network
You’re not alone in this endeavour. Family and friends are probably more than willing to lend a hand, whether that means driving you to a doctor’s appointment or taking over for a few hours so you can get some rest. If it’s advice you need, reach out to other parents who face the same challenges as you.
Stay Healthy
Because parenting is physically demanding, you won’t be able to care for your child if you’re constantly sick or wandering around in a state of fatigue. Avoid that by maintaining a healthy diet rich in nutrients and getting some rest during baby’s nap time. It’s not always easy, so look for ways you and your partner can trade off so that one of you can take a break while the other is with the baby. Make time to get outside when the weather allows so everyone can get some fresh air and a little movement.
In the age of COVID, it’s especially important for expectant mothers to take great care of themselves. It’s recommended to practice safe distancing at all times and wear a mask when out in public. John Hopkins Medicine also recommends staying in touch with doctors throughout the pregnancy and to bring any problems or concerns to their attention.
Becoming a parent is not easy. There’s so much to think about and plan for that it can become overwhelming. Keep in mind there’s no perfect parent and there’s no handbook. You’ll have to take each day at a time, especially in the beginning as you and baby get to know one another. By preparing now for the additional challenges, you’re giving yourself a bit less stress as your new life unfolds.
Author: Claire Wentz