5 tips for potty training success!
1. Recognizing signs of readiness
Of course, the first thing you’ll want to ask yourself when you start potty training is “are they ready?”. Now, just as importantly, ask yourself “am I ready?” Children are often ready long before parents and caregivers; they don’t have the preconceived fear and anxiety surrounding all things poop. There are lots of preconceptions around when children are ready, but the truth is it’s never too early to start the conversation; to introduce the potty as a normal part of life. Let your little one follow you into the bathroom, pull some sheets off the toilet paper roll, flush the toilet! If you begin communicating these things with your little one as early as possible, the fear for them is all but eliminated; they will already be familiar with the process, the sounds, making it easier to encourage the “go” when it’s time.
Now, more specifically regarding the signs they show that they are ready to begin would include:
Pulling on/taking off their diaper when they’ve peed/pooped
Telling you before they go
Telling you after they’ve peed/pooped
Finding private spots or corners in your home to do their business
Having a dry diaper for longer periods
Waking from nap dry
Showing an interest in others going to use the bathroom
These signs could present as early as 13 months for some children, but the more widely considered time of readiness is closer to 20 months. At 13 months your child won’t physically be able to hold in their movements; so using the potty is more about catching them each time they go, rather than your child being able to hold it and go. Again, early communication is always great, so if you’re introducing the potty at 13 months in a relaxed and positive way then there’s no harm; they’ll already know what to do and where pee and poop go when it’s time to train.
Between 20 and 30 months is considered the ideal time to start actual potty training (barring any circumstances that would delay readiness; physical or emotional development, premature birth..). If it’s earlier, it’s more about starting the conversation; if it’s much later, your child will reach that stage in development where they realize they have control over their body, in that they are independent from you, so may give you a harder time if they decide that the potty is where the power lies.
2. Be prepared and expect accidents.
So you’ve assessed that your child is ready to start this journey! Great! Now what?
It’s important to have everything you need prior to starting, so that you don’t have any interruptions or setbacks that could confuse or delay the process.
Have your child pick out their very own potty (you could do your research first and narrow it down to a couple of options for them to choose from) or toilet seat topper, depending on what you decide to do. I personally prefer to give them their child sized potty to use around the house. They’ll be able to access it more independently. I
also make sure they do use the regular toilet as well so that they are familiar with both; when you’re out and about you won’t always have access to child sized toilets!
Stock up on paper towels and cleaning supplies so you can clean up any accidents without showing your toddler that you’re stressed about it or that its a big deal. You’ll swoop in to put them on their potty, reassure them that it’s ok, and remind them where poop and pee go. There WILL be accidents; be prepared. There will also be an amazing amount of successes; and in those moments you’ll be shocked at the amount of pride you’ll feel about someone going to the bathroom! There will be potty songs, poopy dances and pee pee cheers for weeks!
The “Oh Crap” potty training book is proving to be very popular these days too; I’d recommend having a read before starting; it’ll address a lot of the concerns and anxieties you probably have over this step, and guide you through the process.
Once you begin potty training it’ll be a few days to a week of needing to be almost constantly around a toilet, so plan to be home for at least 3 days. Cancel your plans, leave that load of laundry, maybe order in? You’ll need to be able to catch your little pooper in the act to move them to the potty, so be vigilant.
3. Praise, praise, praise
No matter how small the success, be sure to praise their efforts! They didn’t make it to the toilet on time but tried to get there? Amazing! They started to go before you moved them to the toilet to finish? Great job! They went to sit on the potty but couldn’t pull their underwear down in time? Fantastic effort!
No victory is too small when it comes to potty training! Create your own special potty song and dance and go full blast after a success. Accidents should be met with encouragement not admonishment, and successes with absolute delight. You can also use star charts as an incentive if your child needs a little extra encouragement; but keep the goals small at first (a sticker for every success rather than every 5 successes), then increase as they get the hang of it.
4. Be consistent!
It’s great to start talking to your little one about the potty as early as you can, whilst still using diapers, you’re explaining where pee and poop goes, that we can flush, use toilet paper etc.. But once you decide to start that needs to be it. Once you take that first step; that first morning where the diaper doesn’t go on and your LO is bare bottomed, it’s really important that you don’t turn back. Of course, things happen; sickness happens, emergencies happen, but barring any unfortunate series of events, stick to your guns! You can do this! After preparing yourself with supplies and hopefully having read a book such as “oh crap” as mentioned above, you’ll have a good idea of what to expect so don’t panic and trust yourself as the parent (or caregiver) to get through this tricky step.
Be consistent with how often you take toilet breaks, but also with things like the names you use to refer to not only the act of going but their body parts. I’m an advocate of using real terminology with your kids; but if you prefer to use “cute” terms like caca, fufu, weewee… whatever, that’s perfectly fine too! Just be consistent! Don’t use one term at home and then another when you’re out and about; toddler brains won’t understand why and it’ll just be confusing.
Make sure all family members and caregivers are aware of the plan and that they should also follow the steps. It’ll be confusing for your little one to be toilet training at home but then put back in diapers at grandmas house.
5. Be patient.
This is a process dreaded by most parents and caregivers. It can be frustrating, messy and stressful for everyone. Once you start it will be a few days to a week of accidents and reminders, no social lives and potty dances; but once it clicks for them you’ll be so glad you did it! And so proud of your big kid! There may/will be accidents after that, but there’ll be no more diapers!
You might need to try something that entices your little one to using the toilet more consistently; such as for boys, it can be motivating to add cheerios to the water and have them get in some target practice! Make going to the toilet a fun experience; read books, sing songs, whatever your kid is into. Be prepared to be sitting in the bathroom/kitchen/wherever your potty follows you, for a lengthy period of time.
Now, if it doesn’t happen so smoothly for your kid, be sure to assess other factors that could be affecting their success; are they really physically ready? Do they understand the process? Do they just need a little more time? Go back to #1 and ask yourself if they’re ready to start.
Good luck!! You can do this!