Camp! How to handle separation without having a panic attack!

Summer is here! Picnics, sunshine, outdoor activities, beaches... and camp! If you’re anything like me the thought of dropping your little love off at a new place for the first is very daunting. Note: this was me this morning as littlest walked confidently into her new morning camp with only a slight glimmer of confusion before heading into the unknown. Big brother took it like a pro, un phased and ready to play! I, on the other hand, feigned confidence until they disappeared through the doors and then buckled like a nervous wreck. A few minutes later as I’m loitering around the corner: a call from teacher Rachel reassured me all was well 😅 

Honestly: it’s always always worse for the adults! Even if your little cries as you leave, or seems anxious to go into a new place, I guarantee that the majority of children are over it within a minute of not seeing us. Teachers are more than capable of engaging and calming anxious kids, and I’ve been on that side of it, as a previous preschool teacher I know only too well that “out of sight, out of mind” plays a huge part in drop off situations, and teachers are always grateful for parents and caregivers who let them do their thing.

There are ways to make this transition easier for everyone though. It can be anxiety inducing for both parent and child (and nanny) separating for the first time, and there are techniques that can help. 

1- Talk about camp before the big day. I don’t mean forcefully sit them down and talk; this can create anxiety where there isn’t any! When you’re talking about the summer, casually start talking about camp and what it means. Keep things light and positive. Talk about the friends they’ll make, how lovely the teachers are; they’ll go to the park, do arts and crafts.. camp is SO fun. “I wish I could go to camp but it’s just for kids!” If your littles are like my charges they’ll say something proudly like “yeah you can’t go it’s just for kids”. If not, say “but I’ll be waiting right outside for you the whole time while you’re having all that fun”.

2- Involve them in the process of getting ready for camp. I had my nanny kids help wash their camp shirts, and they helped pack extra clothes in their super special new camp bags. We made sure they had everything on their lists and anything else they wanted to add to make them feel they had everything they need. By this I mean a small object/blanket they could keep in their bags to give them a connection to home.

3- On the morning of camp make sure they have a good breakfast (hangry kids are going to take a transition much harder than those with happy tummies), and know the schedule for the day “after breakfast we’ll head to camp, you’ll have so much fun, then I’ll pick you up and we’ll go have lunch...”. Include things that will take place after camp so it’s clear to them they’ll be picked up. 

4- when you get to camp keep that positive attitude up, feign confidence if you need to. If they sense your anxiety they will become anxious. When we approached the building I said things like “I’ll be waiting here while you have so much fun!” “Let’s see if we can find teacher Rachel” “wow so many fun kids are here”.. i actually hadn’t met the teachers before but I pretended I already new them and that they were good friends of mine; being confident with the people you’re handing them off to will help them see they’re safe and there’s nothing to worry about. 

Now, your child may still cry during the separation but know you’ve done all you can to lay a good foundation for them to feel confident. Not only this, but as I said, 99% of the time a crying child becomes a happy child within a few minutes maximum of you leaving! 

I understand if you don’t want to take the advice of someone who is currently hiding behind a tree as the camp kids head to the park, just so she can sneak a peak of her nanny kids, but really these techniques do help. You can still cry about it once they’re out of sight, but your munchkins will be given the gift of your confidence! No matter how much you’re having to fake it.

That brings me to another point, if you can’t drag yourself away (like me) on that first day, just make sure they don’t see you!! Nothing rocks the boat more than a parent/caregiver interrupting the day to check on the children, often again creating anxiety where there isn’t any. So: stealth mode only folks! 

Above all know that your child/children will be spending time making friends and memories, learning new things, including how to be in the world without you! They’ll learn that they can be confident in the world because you always come back; they can explore, engage, experience things without concern. You are their constant; their compass. You’re giving them the gift of freedom and independence.

You’ve got this!